Because she was a Pretty Pretty Princess, she didn't have a birthDAY. She had a birthMONTH. She celebrated the entire month of October every year I knew her. She would spend each weekend of the month going out with friends to celebrate, usually went out to a super nice, fancy dinner actually ON her birthday with her husband and typically used this month to be financially irresponsible, because it was her "birthday month". LOL She never shied away from a birthday, never got weird because she was getting older. Her and I had had many conversations about our age. It is at this age (I'm 5 years older than her - I'll be 46 in December) that we were both most comfortable in our skin. In your 20's, you are trying to figure out what/who you are. In your 30's you have a pretty good idea and maybe even a plan on how to get to where you want. We both felt that at this age we are now, we had finally truly realized what we planned for our lives in our 20's and 30's.
You get to an age where you stop trying to impress others and are really focused on being the best you that you can be. It is also about this same age where you begin to give absolutely zero fucks about what other people think of you and refuse to allow others impression of you and potential negativity affect you. We were there.
Were we both insecure? Sure, what human isn't? Did we allow the insecurities to ruin or control our lives? HELL NO. We held our heads high, locked our arms and skipped down the street (good GOD, we actually did that one night after too many glasses of wine at dinner and a 4 block walk back to her apartment LOL) with our heads held high. Screw the haters.
These past 4 months without her have been so strange, so surreal. It doesn't help that in my little circle of framily folks, there has been SO. MUCH. DEATH. since June, with the most recent one being the death of a friends 21 year old son just last week. 2015 is a crappy year. Super, super crappy year. So bad that I believe I AM going to organize a virtual party, maybe a Google hangout, something, so that we can all collectively give 2015 the finger as it goes out the door and hope like hell that 2016 is gentler and kinder.
So, wherever you are, stop a moment and think of Catherine. Wish her a happy birthday. She can hear you.
Happy birthday in Heaven beautiful. I miss you every single day, but I keep a small piece of you in my heart with me always.
I promised you a real comment, then got distracted.
ReplyDeleteI thought of Catherine on the 1st of the month. I remembered that she would always post the things you can get free on your birthday, and the free gifts from the make-up counters, etc. (I forgot one this year for my own birthday!)
And I can totally picture you two Laverne and Shrileying it down the street! LOL